I have a list of famous people I inexplicably keep tabs on. There’s Kaia Gerber, a very boring model/nepo baby who has somehow dated two cinematic Elvises. There’s her father Rande Gerber, who, in addition to making my favorite tequila, will occasionally write weird Instagram posts about his daughter (like this one). For some reason, I watch Hailey Bieber’s “Who’s In My Bathroom?” series on YouTube like she’s Marc Maron conducting compelling interviews in his garage. And...